So far I've just had to get the basics right. I feed him, change him, bathe him, hold him when he needs me. That's it. My life has continued at a pleasant pace without much change. But I'm starting to understand, as he grows, that I am being watched. My actions are becoming accountable. Each choice that I make from here on out will have a consequence on his life. He learns from me and is now able to detect even the slightest change in tone of voice. The realization that he will soon mimic what Cody and I do is a pretty sobering thought. He already notices our actions but soon will understand them. He will understand the way we treat others and even our sly comments that we sometimes -inappropriately- let slip. He will be aware of the way we interact with our family and how we treat our pets. He will understand how we treat our possessions and if we decide to fix things or toss them out and buy more. He will understand the music that we listen to and the television shows that we watch. He will be aware of how we handle our money and what we choose to spend it on. He will see how we choose to treat the earth and the decisions that we make sometimes out of pure laziness. He will see and understand if we choose to open our bible or just use it as a paperweight. He will eat what we allow and play with what we provide. He will know the love that Cody and I share. These memories are forming his childhood and we are in charge. These moments -from here on out- are our responsibility. And I am grateful for this responsibility.
